Tattoo Healing

So I got a really excellent tattoo done last Friday. An hour and a half on the table. Anyhow, here’s how the healing has progressed, for anyone that’s interested and also my personal reference, as I’m planning another in the next few months.

Day 1 – Friday: The tattooing itself hurt like fuck at times but was also a seriously enjoyable experience, like being in a dentist’s chair or getting a pedicure. Something like that. There was a lot more soreness after the fact than I expected and it smarted like I’d burned myself on a hot oven.

Day 2 – Saturday: A bit sore. Some trouble moving, like a pulled muscle, but almost back to normal.

Day 3 – Sunday: I had a few pieces of clothes rub roughly against it and that was really painful, but otherwise it was barely sore.

Day 4 – Monday: Hardly noticed it.

Day 5 – Tuesday: Noticed what at first seemed to be spots missing color. Realized later in the day that they were in fact bits of dry skin flaking.

Day 6 – Wednesday: Lots of flaking, finally began to itch. Really annoying, but additional ointment eased that feeling a bit.

That’s up to today. I’m expecting two to three weeks of healing, maybe a bit more before I go through this again. I’ll update as it goes.

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Hitting on Ladies: Advice from a Lady

I was strutting through my neighborhood’s open air market today, listening to my Bubblegum Popsicle playlist and feeling like a sexy bitch. The weather has been gorgeous lately, with bright sunshine and a gentle breeze, (and I’ve been binging care package Nutty Bars) so I chose to walk the mile or so (3km) home rather than grab the bus.

Then a guy approached me and asked me out.

I’ve decided to be flattered rather than creeped out, but honestly, he was right on the line. So I’m breaking down his approach and clarifying how this particular woman (and obviously all other women, too, because we have a hive mind) feels about the different aspects.

Bothering a Woman When She’s Walking/Listening to Headphones – Iffy

I know we live in a world where everybody wears headphones and tries to avoid social contact with strangers, especially in big cities. I don’t think this should prevent us from hitting on people. If you’re going to do it, though, keep a few things in mind:

Approaching in an Open, Public Space with People Around – Good!

If this exact same guy had approached me in the exact same way in a subway car, he’d have tipped WAY over into Creepy. Women live their lives constantly aware of verbal and physical harassment, sexual assault and murder. And honestly, fearing for your safety is a pretty strong libido killer.

Not Getting to the Fucking Point – Hella Annoying

I know this contradicts some of what follows, but this guy was so wishy-washy I spent a long time thinking he was asking for directions or collecting for a charity before I realized he was trying to hit on me.

Introducing Yourself – Good

I didn’t catch his name because I was pulling off my headphones and trying to figure out why this guy was bothering me, but just knowing that he offered it made me feel more comfortable. Offering a bit about yourself makes it feel more like a conversation and less like harassment.

Physical Attraction as the Reason You’re Interested – Creepy

No. No no no. I don’t give a fuck that you know nothing else about me. Say I look interesting, that I seem happy, like I’m having a good time, that you’re so sorry to interrupt my jam session but I seem like the kind of person you’d like to get to know. Do not tell me that I’m hot or beautiful or that I have a nice body, you creepy fuck. You’re not telling me anything I haven’t heard before.

Complimenting my body doesn’t make me feel grateful and happy toward you. It shows that you’re only interested in my body. It says that you’re shallow and lack creativity.

Not Knowing That My Eyes Are Up Here, Fucker – Creepy(!!!)

This is the pornstache of body language. If I’m looking at your face while you’re looking at my breasts, ESPECIALLY if you’re describing how attractive you think I am at the same time, all I want to do is run the fuck away.

Offering a Small, Noncommittal Date – Good

Asking someone for coffee is almost definitely a safe bet. Lunch is also good. Basically, you want to make sure the woman feels safe, which means avoid asking her to meet you at night, in places outside of her comfort zone, or for alcoholic drinks.

Talking Over Her, Not Letting Her Answer Your Question – Hella Annoying

This isn’t really creepy, but it is really rude. If you have done the asking out, shut up and let her respond. Definitely don’t keep nattering about yourself and/or how attractive she is.

Accepting Rejection Gracefully – Good!

I went with the “I have a boyfriend” line, because it’s safer for a woman to pretend that she “belongs” to a man than to admit that she’s not interested on her own terms. Ending the hitting on is appropriate at this point. Lines like “He doesn’t have to know” are offensive and CREEPY AS FUCK.

“Your Boyfriend is a Lucky Man” – Creepy!

This has somehow become a socially-acceptable response to rejection, when it’s actually offensive and dehumanizing. You make the woman sound like a toy that some other kid on the playground is playing with, but women are human beings with agency. Just smile through the rejection and wish her a great rest of the day.

I know overall this guy comes off as creepy and annoying, but I chose to be flattered because this is a much better interaction than I associate with most hitting on. I didn’t fear for my safety and was able to extricate myself with minimal fuss. (Note for Ladies: “That’s really kind, but I’m not interested,” “Thanks for the compliment,” and “Well, have a great day” are all good strategies for closing a conversation, though usually you’ll need to use more than one.)

Bubblegum Popsicle Recipe

Ingredients

LFO – Every Other Time

Lily Allen – Hard Out Here

OK Go – Get Over It

OK Go – You’re So Damn Hot

Ryan Adams & The Cardinals – Magick

Tokio Hotel – Love Who Loves You Back

Kevin Rudolf ft. NaS – NYC

Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars – Uptown Funk

Matt & Kim – Let’s Go

Matt Nathanson – Modern Love

Matt Nathanson – Mercy

Red Hot Chili Peppers – Dani California

Taylor Swift – Blank Space

Foster the People – Don’t Stop (Color the Walls)

JbDubs – Prom King

Jordon McCoy – Rockstar

Katharine McPhee – I Know What Boys Like

Kesha – Take It Off

Kesha – TiK ToK

Matt Nathanson – Queen of (K)nots

Pink – Cuz I Can

Pink – U & Ur Hand

Pink – Funhouse

Add pop music to taste.

Shuffle, then binge.

Anxiety

I wrote some messages tonight to a friend that I feel are particularly descriptive. Probably because I’ve been awake for twenty-six hours now, but here we go anyway.

Context: I received an email from a coworker, promptly spiraled into a cycle of negative thinking and anxiety, and my friend asked pointed questions about the email, which made me realize I had completely misread my coworker’s tone and was fretting (mostly) needlessly.

Yeah. I think this is an issue with my panic response. I skim it, get frustrated and anxious, then want to avoid the issue, so I don’t reread it. Thanks for prompting me to do that.

Actually, that really helped a lot.

Some things that I’ve found really work with anxiety (in case this comes up in future, as it probably will): 1. Discussing the issue 2. Trying to find a solution OR just getting support 3. If in a case of extreme anxiety (or panic attack): „Are you in immediate danger? If not, when will the bad thing happen? What is the realistic worst case scenario for the bad thing? Is there something that would make that scenario less likely?“

In case you’re curious, panic feels like a spiderweb that crawls through the muscles of my back, stringing them together, wrapping over my brain, making everything foggy and hard to grasp.

It distracts from absolutely everything, makes it seem like I may forget how to breathe because it’s so big and immediate and strong.

I know going on, saying I have a problem is a bit nutty, but I think if describing a problem and proposing solutions to it make my life better, I’d rather be a person with anxiety who’s working on it than a fucked-up person without any mental health issues.

Yep, I stand by all of that. I hope it’s

In case you’re curious, panic feels like a spiderweb that crawls through the muscles of my back, stringing them together, wrapping over my brain, making everything foggy and hard to grasp.

Internet Famous

A few months back, my university got some press for being voted the “third most hipster” university in the nation on an entirely unscientific website that no-one had heard of before or since.
I maybe should have taken that bit of hubbub into account when I sat down with my typewriter in the library cafe. Honestly, I was just peeved that I only had a couple hours to write before my next meeting and that didn’t give me enough time to go to the coffee shop downtown that serves a tasty granita, where I have been doing most of my daytime writing.
Within a few hours, a friend linked me to this imgur page, where people are still chiming in about how incredibly unbelievable and obnoxious it is to use a typewriter in public. At first, I was really hurt and offended. As I continued to read through the comments, though, I realized it’s all really funny. Complete strangers are contemplating the inner workings of my (attention-seeking) mind and others are defending my right to free expression. There’s a line of questioning that seems to center around where my headphones are plugged in, since it’s clearly not my iPhone (nowhere? the typewriter?!). Just to quell the curiosity, the answer is my HP tablet (not iPad), the corner of which is peeking out from behind the great hulk of a typewriter everyone’s so fascinated by.

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On Writing

Some writers say that writing is putting put pain on paper, but I think I write best when I’m happy. I’m doing NaNWriMo this year and in twenty days I have 43,000 words. I’ve never been able to write so much so quickly before and I also think I’ve never been so happy, on average, as I have been in the last year.

Of course, I’ve never tried NaNo on a typewriter before and that makes a significant difference to my ability to focus, but there still seems to be a correlation between this relationship and my ability to successfully pursue my interests.

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Colonialism

I’ve recently gotten to thinking about politics. Just a warning here. DANGER DANGER: The following post contains controversial views, slopped together during caffeine withdrawal. I’ll probably still be upset if you call me names, though.

So I was thinking about the caste system in Medieval Europe, where the aristocrats spoke a different language from the peasants (French, generally), ate different food, had their own lifestyle and culture–
and although they’re all the same ethnic group, that sounds an awful lot like colonialism to me.

Now, because I like to piss people off, I started to wonder how you could apply this concept, call it domestic colonialism, to modern America. Is the upper class really so similar to the lower? Is speaking the same language enough, because I doubt the mother of two on SNAP eats the same food and keeps the same social calendar as the society page debutante.

Perhaps I’m making light of a real problem by linking it erroneously to global tragedy. Perhaps I’m calling racial profiling genocide, but I do wonder if the language of colonialism would be effective in the discussion of class inequality. It’s hard to say that “colonists” are in the best interest of the “native people,” as the current argument goes.

Nanowrimo

Nanowrimo’s coming up and I’m not sure what I ought to write, though I seem to have decided I want to write something. The sci-fi story from my my teenage years? The porn I want to challenge myself with? The young adult fantasy that’s just barely not fanfiction (but apparently that’s cool these days)? Whichever characters I decide to climb into, they’ll be in my head for a good long while.

Anxiety won’t help, but as crazy as it sounds, I think it helps me to have a little too much on my plate. I’d like the chance to warm up my typewriter, too. I can write probably 10wpm, creatively, so 1700wpd would take more than two hours. Could I find time for that? I had such hope (and organization) as a kid. Well, this week I’ll try to set the time aside to outline and we’ll see how it goes.

Take a Shower with Your Fridge

As you may already know, there’s only one good way to clean the shelves and drawers of a refrigerator. I recently spilled about a half-gallon of sweet tea inside mine and a shower seemed the obvious solution.
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Also, there are finally photos of my new juice experience:

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And I have a list of things not to juice:
Radishes
Beets (in excess)
Dirt

New Champion Juicer

In the last few days I’ve added “Amateur Juicer” to my resume. A quick look at the local craigslist last week connected me to a sweet older gentleman selling a Champion juicer in great condition for $90. On a fun note, the bumper sticker on his red Pontiac Thunderbird read, “I feel blue in a red state.”

Well, that’s something I ought to add to my profile: I’m an enormous liberal feminist in a Bible belt state. I got a big kick out of that bumper sticker.

In other news, olives are delicious in sparkling apple juice.

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Yes, that’s a gross quantity of popcorn and apple cider in martini glasses. I said I was quirky, not sensible.